Rhapsody

1 march

2009-01-19T01:31:00.000-08:00

im counting down to my ojt ends...tat is on the 1st march this yr...cant believe tat i hv worked here for 4 mths plus though..tot i would give up sooner coz may be because of me? my mouth? my attitude? if not nw, maybe they will give me the letter when my ojt ends..who knws, tat's when they will start sighing meaning of peace....i dont know...this whole thing could juz be my imagination...but nvrtheless, i will still start my countdown to the 1st march...afta tat, i can stay to work here tats if they still want me too...but thinking back, i shld juz stay, shouldnt be so fussy bout wat job i have rite nw coz the government is unstable n on recession. and, most companies are firing their employees. and now, there are lots of unemployment singapore citizen out there looking for job opportunities. tats y, i shld juz stick to 1 working place. shld throw away my stubborness n listen to wat older generation say..tat may be wise enough. and, i shld learn n acquire new skills/talents..bt hopefully, things will start to go smooth afta tat....

foreigner vs singaporean?

2008-12-20T21:02:00.000-08:00

christmas is coming & there are alot of events to do....hmmm....and there's also the new yr to celebrate the coming 2009. i wonder what should i wish for? to become mature in terms of mentality n emotionally? to be able to hv the ability to socialise and knw how to communicate w/o hurting other pple's feelings? to strengthen my mind so as not to get easily provoke, manipulate by other pple esp guys......

come to think of it, guys are really pain in the butt! they make gals worry for them....until i dont hv anything else to say...they like to make gal despise them? making them jealous juz for their own pleasure, so as to see whether the gals are jealous or not? i mean, in this world of ours, there are more population of girls rather than guys....and, so, u can see that guys are 2 timing the galfrend or ex galfrend...still, i dont like the fact tat guys are being so fickle minded...why go all the way to there juz so to make ur ex or ur galfrend jealous? this doesnt make any sense at all...

if u are a foreign guy picking on a singaporean gal, then it would mean trouble for that gal...coz, in reality, why choose singaporean gal juz for ur own desire/pleasure & in the end, u would do something to hurt that pity singaporean gal? why not ur own foreign gals, in ur own country? pple say tat his own country, the gals there are much better, much much prettier, much smarter, than our own gals....so why singaporean gals? u come to singapore here, mingle with our gals and hurt them in the process, yet she is kind hearted by giving u something as a farewell gift....i wouldnt blame the gal but i would blame the guy for doing all those to her...in the end, you wouldnt msg or call her or even talk to her but talking to someone else....i truly understand the gal's emotions but its so pityful....

juz recently, i met this nepalese guy again in my workplace, but he is not alone...he is wif my other ex colleagues and 1 nepalese gal frend....is this de ja vu for me? again? i hv seen guys bringing their own galfrend to work and before this, they juz say, "i dont hv a galfrend back home" what nonsense is tat? maybe they are all frends but who knows what the future brings? they say "love is blind" but is it all tat there is to it? love is not blind for all u knw....its juz that we, human beings make love blind itself n why muz we stick on to that phrase? open ur eyes wide and see that he is hurting u in every way....

he is doing all this juz so tat he could prove to u tat he can find other gals who is much better in terms of everything to u...by making u jealous, by manipulating u, by making u despise/hate him...he is like a devil in disguise.....by provoking u, making u angry, u already hv a deep grudge against him, tat would mean tat u would have make a sin...bt really, guys like him dont deserve ur pitiness, ur love, ur caring, is truly not worth of tat anymore....im sorry everyone, looks like i have done alot of damage here n there....i would turn back the time n change everything tat has happened here but wats done is done...juz let bygones be bygones....who knows, he might regret it by now since he is going to go back tmr....who knws there are better chances for me at the end of the journey....life has always been a challenging n a real journey for someone like me....juz need to take 1 step at a time but he will always be a step behind me.....

"when u fail, u stand up again n again til u get it correct"..."when u give up, everything u do will be meaningless....." i hv failed so many times in the matters of heart, in studies n in work but if dont give up, there will still be chances for me" "Allah will always open his door if u repent for the better, if u still hv the will to move on" doesnt mean tat u dont fail in everything, means u have succeed, or u have to show off ur ego...the real challenge has juz begun....

think b4 u act

2008-12-04T05:52:00.000-08:00

pple say"think b4 u act" & "practice wat u preach"..but i didnt do it...im nt superficial if tats wat u think...tink too much also, i still do it....haiz....very sian rite? i preach to others but nvr preach to myself. even if i regret wat im doing nw oso no use....i juz dont do it again n again n again n 100% sure, gurantee tat hopefully i wont do it again....if there is a way to stop the time n turn back to the past, i will sure go for it n change everything n making sure tat i have my ways to prevent such things if it were to befall or happen to me...im grateful for my frends for their advices n help all this while coz w/o them, im a goner n a miserable person..juz tat im nt a socialise person n nw, i protect or defend myself frm trusting too many pple, esp when u noe someone is using u for their own desire or pleasure. of coz we got our own reasons for maybe distancing or wat nt, but think again, is it worth it? is it worth distancing nw than b4? why not b4 u get someone's feelings hurt than nw? thinking really is not my forte....but if tat is to happen to me again, i really nid to be on guard, defense, n no boyfrend for me nw....

"to love someone is different than to be loved by someone" "you'll only knw she love u when she is away frm u, so cherish her while she is still here" "to be in love is a great thing but once u have fallen deep in love is a terrible thing" "love is blind, becoz we, humans make it blind by falling in love with the wrong partner". "if we are fated to be together, our paths will crossed again in yrs to come, so dont fret" "do nt listen to ur heart alone, listen to ur mind n soul, then u will be able to do things tat will benefit n good for you"

wats this? am i getting too old or too corny?

time for me to end it all??

2008-12-04T05:03:00.000-08:00

all this time, i've been bickering, arguing wif this guy colleague of mine.....if im ruthless, i wld juz say tat i dont know him or he is not my classmate but i didnt....i am not born ruthless or evil. every one of us are born wif a light n dark personality or attitude within us. its whether we want to be a goody goody person or a baddy baddy person...life is a real journey to me.. to me, my journey doesnt end here, it only ends when i give up everything....i hv been unlucky since i start my work n know this guy..nt only him, those days i worked n loved a guy...i've been very unlucky to met such a guy....a gal is like eg: a tool for a guy to use n when he has found another new n fresh tool, he will pick up n will throw away the old tool....im not a trash, a toy, a tool to be used or to be pushed away one corner...once he will be interested n the next thing he will not be coz he has found someone new to be wif....how long must i endure this?? im nt hving fun doing all this bickering or arguing. maybe im only contented wif him going away back home?
is it fun for those guys doing all this to me?? are they even thinking of my feelings b4 n now?? seeing is believing n wat pple hear also they believe..of coz i get to see things wif my own 2 eyes, what to expect frm tat?? i have eyes, ears....im not dumb or deaf n definitely, im nt enjoying this...not tat i dont use my brain to think or i dont hv any common sense...but really, if u use ur heart n nt ur brain to think n listen wif ur heart, then i will suffer even more than nw.

working wif a foreigner is different than working wif our own pple...n even to fall in love wif a foreigner is different than being wif a local.. coz a local know what to expect frm us n they will treat us evenly, but a foreigner.....haiz.....im nt bias or racism coz i treat pple like pple not a dog
or a cat...but if im being treated like one by someone, then how?? pple always say "let bygones be bygones" or "let nature takes its course" or "learn to give n take"..of coz now, i look like a bad person coz it makes me look like one....somehow i really think tat this is not my place n time to be here...if only, i take my course at a different private sch maybe i might be able to prevent such things frm happening...bt frm this tough journey, maybe there will be something good for me at the end....but, afta wat has happen to me throughout my journey, is it time for me to end all this??

dejavu?

2008-09-27T14:34:00.000-07:00

haloooo....recently i hv changed frm better to worse. i can tell becoz this is me. its not like i let my emotions control me this time round but more like i have become quite uncomfortable due to my ex classmates working wif me....last time was okay but now its like de ja vu...i already say that i want to be access individually, not that i am someone's classmate. i am an independent person so its better this way....as for tat ex-classmate of mine, well, wat to do? he IS my work colleague now tat i've entered that workplace. most of the servers there are a nepalese, same wif him....OMG! i am a muslim, singaporean...we have different beliefs, cultures....i dont speak too much wif my tat guy though.....only when im spoken too, then i speak....in any case, i have an objectives here. i want to earn my own money so tat i can support my family, and i want to be able to work here to complete my ojt for 6 mths.....hopefully! IF ALLAH IS WILLING! (Insyaallah) and, im not here for making pple like me or make them proud of me for something or for who i am...i came here to work and i want to do my work well & atleast i want to be able to feel the enjoyness like before (serving customers & making them happy)....so, bottom line: i dont really care wat others complain about me..i juz do wat they want from me....in the end, if i serve customers better, they will pass the word of mouth for me...

is it boring to you??

2008-09-26T08:59:00.000-07:00

hey there!! how are ya??? too bad for me though coz i receive a harsh critics.....i dont expect tat but still......hay! i do this blog, the editing, the photos, all by myself ok? i dont juz cut & paste a new template to mine....so, cut the slack, will ya?? i know its boring...but this is more of like my personal diary...juz tat i let pple view n comment on it....well, lets see.....any new interesting ideas from you guys bout my blog?? do u have any comments bout the way i set my pictures or the way i set my layout for my blog?? if there's any interesting comments or ideas, pls send me a comment n share it wif me.....i wld love to hear ya! adios!

updates

2008-09-13T06:36:00.000-07:00

i have juz amend my fonts including the size & the colour too! i juz feel tat my blog needs a change but cant do too much amendment coz i dont have any frontpage anymore....if i have it, i can maybe amend it alot....oh well, no one is complaning to me....besides, i think its okay for my blog to be like tat....my blog reflects me, u know....but the cartoon, well, its not entirely a cartoon, its my favourite game frm ps 1. some say, if i put lots of cartoons to it, then it will be too childish for me....but then, wat is it wif comments like tat anyway? then, how do you define a mature looking blog?? something which is boring, dull looking? i dont know how to put a music/midi to my blog but oh well....this is juz fine to me.....well, i can only say 1 thing: THIS IS ME! let others say wat they want about me.....

great news

2008-09-06T22:59:00.000-07:00

u noe, yesterday was my younger bro's 22 bday....and, at the same time, was the release of the nitec in F & B Operation exam results for June series......my heart was beating fast....hope i dont get a heart attack for this!! hehehehhe.....oh well.....i have yet to take my result frm my sch but i did get to know my grades n GPA point.....oh then, here goes.......i feel so much alive n happy when i was told tat im on top....and there, i tot tat someone else got it...but i am happy to know tat im on top!! hee hee he...i wanted to cry but tears wont fall down....maybe is it becoz i already know my grades??? i do have a feeling of confidence tat i will be able to pass well in this course, but this is surprising to me......somehow, i feel blessed by the GOD, u noe? maybe tats y im able to manage this far...but then, i cant juz stop here...i have to be able to get to poly (if can), then pass wif a diploma cert, to be able to get a better job, wif better prospect.....tat is wat i want, tats my goal for now....at last, i am a somebody frm being a nobody!! i dont have a lot of ego, pride but i am proud of myself coz im able to go this far...all by myself.....my family juz support me frm behind......

hi

2008-04-08T22:56:00.000-07:00

tot tat i check my own blog...wow, still can use n edit...but sadly, NO ONE is posting....wat the.....

i hate dis!

2007-05-02T02:04:00.000-07:00

i really start hating to job hunt. the more i hunt them, the more i become fed-up becoz y?
seriously, companies want this, want that....argh!! i hate it!! so bias is it til they wrote down that they want billingual pple to work for them....think they wat huh?? still, do i nid to waste my $$ for learning mandarin course?? dunt think so...my $$ is already for the f n b course....although i can speak mandarin a bit but still not gd enuf for them....n waitress, omg! y muz so far huh?? y cannot be near huh?? im not into sales or telemarketing, so...dont waste ur breath...sometime last wk, i went to this sakura family restaurant at my area ( bukit panjang), of coz....noe wat they tell me afta i fill up my employment form? they say, "my manager is on maternity leave n she's at home, resting rite now, n i will pass ur form to her and anything she/we'll call you..

wat the heck! how long muz i wait for this?? maternity leave is very long for me to wait, i tink i rather be a beggar or a nun, or a cleaner... i nid the $$ a.s.a.p. coz i have yet to pay the rest of my sch fees...if i have known about this earlier, way earlier, i would have stayed with my previous workplace....my course is starting in the month of november...have to start pay them in october....

this is like hell!! there's no heaven for me! i always have to be the one to suffer!! y me?? huh huh?? not fair ok?!

my last working day

2007-04-01T04:08:00.000-07:00

hi hi!! im sooo relieved n happy tat yesterday is my last day....n am not working, waiting to apply for my course which is nitec in f n b operations. anyway, my manager gave me a farewell gift...small n cute plate wif all the staff's signature on it...cool huh?? bt i wonder y i didnt get any tips $$ ? maybe they use the $$ for that gift?? juz for me?? aww!! its sooo touching!! hehehehehe!! its my first tat my manager would buy gifts for me....in any case, i did bring my family digital camera..and its new!! muz be careful now...cannot lose it otherwise they will scold me! hahahaha!! here are some photos i took using the camera....enjoy!!

they are alot of photos....but pls, give ur comment....i noe tat im not a gd photographer coz my hand shake upon holding the camera n push the button....luckily i can take pictures w/o the staff scold me n all....phew!! ok, ciao!

shld i be confuse or wat??

2007-03-05T19:13:00.000-08:00

hey, i noe tat the management itself noe tat i'm going to resign at the end of march (31/03/07)...i've been telling them tat last mth..but somehow, this prob bugs me even now...nobody would tell me wat to say, wat to do....no one treats me "nicely" over there..so i think i be better gone from that place huh?? maybe i juz need to buck up my work n all...or maybe this has something to do wif my attitude n behavior over there?? neway, there's a new waitress coming in today...she's supposed to take my place huh?? im soooo busted!! having new waitress to replace me n its not my retirement yet is soooo bad for me!! heard tat the new staff is a malay gal like me too...i wonder how they make her fall for their "sweet talk" n all..like the hell she noe tat this place is a non-halal restaurant n u may touch pork n alcohol....of coz, mly nowadays eat want they wat n drink wat they want..so, i shouldnt be surprised if she can drink alcohol huh??

i dont want to be retrenched by them early march....hey! ronnie is still at malaysia so there's few staff working...if they retrenched me, wouldnt the manager n staff be at full disadvantage here?? n oso if the new staff cant work there anymore, it will be shortage of manpower too if they sent me home....its too early!! i told him i resign at the end of march!! n now there's new staff coming in n this fast!!?? its like he's telling me he dont need my service anymore. even if he didnt tell me bout this, i can still tell...me n the manager didnt click sooo much nowadays...luckily vannessa n alex say like " dont be crazy la.....n no la...., n even they retrenched u, u oso want to resign wat, so y be afraid?" but, but, i kept thinking that my fate is short - termed at this restaurant....but maybe oso, its a chance to tell me tat i can work at new place or study this early...oh man!! wat the hell!!!! i juz do normal stuff then....like my work...but now, i tink i BETTER TAKE GD CARE OF MYSELF BEFORE THEY SENT ME "FLYING" dont ya see y i want to quit end of march? coz the payday itself is on the end of march n on my last day i can finally get my full payment instead of half or quarter.....but still a money- minded huh??? hahahaha!!

friendster

2007-03-01T21:34:00.000-08:00

omg! friendster's site has become sooo bored for me....once i checked in but didnt see any changes so i checked out of the site. watever happens to the "fun" friendster site?? nowadays, i seldom log in to that site. guess there's not much for me to do there huh?? now, i become engrossed in designing my own blog skin...and also its fun but very troublesome n tiring....its difficult too but wif the help of soo many skins n guidance, well...tat help me much, i guess....ooopss!! i gotta go now! c ya!

nice or not?

2007-02-28T22:44:00.000-08:00

hi guys!! im baaacckkkk!! how are u all? hope u guys r fine...ermmm...well, juz finish my skins today..phew! took me a long time to design my own skin..soo??? is it nice or not? i noe its not a perfect skin like photokicho's skins...coz they are all nice but hard for me to follow n understand...well, i hope u guys will drop in n give me a message ok? c ya next time!

hey hey hey!!!

2006-10-01T13:49:00.000-07:00

its been a while, hasnt it?? ermm...im tinking of writing a new set of story for my blog....this is it then....

i cant get to sleep since 1 am...maybe i tink too much....i called n msg that guy (its the same guy frm b4), but he didnt reply...maybe he went to bed early coz he has to wake up early for work...he works in the morning shift this wk n nx wk...how i missed him so....of coz i can talk or msg him but its not the same w/o seeing his face...also, i have been day-dreaming alot nowadays....someone pls!! give him a call n tell him something bout this!! OR someone pls slap me as to wake me up frm these!! how i wish i got hospitalised or on leave for wks!! kemungkinan dia nak dgn aku....tapi itu pun mungkin ya atau mungkin tak....itu pun mungkin aku dpt tau jawapan nye yg betul...dats y aku tak happy sangat bila aku tau pasal nie...hmm.....dont noe wat else to say...u guys r maybe expecting something new rite? but instead im still talking bout him...sorry! well, do give me a comment, ya?

im relieved....

2006-09-11T20:39:00.000-07:00

im relieved tat he's ok now...only tat he starts work again next week..when pple asks me like "have u guys go on a date?" "did he kissed u?" "u guys hold hand already?" i can only say,...."no" n " we r juz frends rite now" " not that fast" its true that we are still young and he still needs frends, not gf rite now...come to think of it, he nvr msg me or call me now tat he's alrite...i hv to call n msg him..its still a bother to me tat he didnt do anything to me..i dont know wat's his reaction when he was told tat i cried for him when it happen to him...i juz want to ask him that question but all i can ask is, "u shld be glad tat there's a frend who wld shed real tears for u" coz he thinks i shed a crocodile tears..nonsense! bt wld he be glad tat i shed tears for him?

wld he be glad that i cared n worried for him? while he's still in the hospital bed, i didnt come n visit him. n even if i did, wat can i say to him n his family? he needs his family then n now. he dont need me to be there..i wanted to be there bt sooo bz wif my work n when my off day is near, i wanted to visit him, he's already been discharged. when i think about it, if im the one who is in the hospital bed lying semi-concious, wld he be crying for me? i doubt that. of coz he will pray for my safety n all but dont think he would cry for me as i did cry for him..

maybe he tinks its a waste tat i cry for him..if he did all these things to me now, y shld i bother too much bout him..when he sees his family, he's ok. but maybe when he sees me, he's not ok. who noes! tats y i shouldnt bother bout him too much...

he always say "jodoh tak ke mane". tats y if the day comes that we shld be 2gether, then we will be, but if its not, then i hv to accept it...but we shld find our own happiness oso...waddya think?

me & my frend

2006-09-11T20:25:00.000-07:00

last thursday, i went out wif my primary sch frend...its sooo long but only to find out how great n success she is rite now...not only she has the looks, but oso the brain..like me...im juz a bimbo rite now...am i? cant believe it when i hear tat she's an air stewardess now n used to be a diploma holder. wow!! i cant be compared to her! we are in two different world..but i cant keep on saying tat i cant be success.. i can! i need to make an effort..i cant be thinking of this guy rite now..if i keep thinking of him, nothing will be accomplished..

if she can, why i cant.. there must be something wrong wif wat im doing rite now. its gd tat i want to further my studies bt its only next yr..i want to keep saving my $$. i need $$ for alot of things now..all of us have grown up n we need to use alot of $$ on our stuff..time to open my mind wider n in tat way, i can tink of the big picture.. up til now, i hv only think of wat to come for me now or tmr or the next day but i nvr tink ahead so tats y i hv to do it now.

omg!! bt everything's ok

2006-09-05T21:25:00.000-07:00

i bought sushi for me n him....2 pieces for me n 3 pieces for him...fair rite? dat's our favourite food...i know how to make but am sooo lazy to make one...upon buying for him, i tot i would give him a call bt his sis picked up...sounds very young so i assume his sis answer it..then, i juz hang up...so scared...on that day at work, i gave him his sushi and he say thanks....wow! nvr heard from him before...he's change alot...ppl do change huh?? the next day when i ask him bout this, he told me tat his mom pick up the phone...omg!!wat the heck was that about??!!he told me tat if he's in the toilet or something, his mom or his sis pick up the phone....obviously rite??

im used to talk to him on the phone or face to face...but now, everything's ok ok..thnx for worrying bout me, my dear frends.. we then talk as per normal yesterday @ work...i saw him ard 3 times there..hehehehehheh...coz he seems to be walking ard that area...anyway, things seems to be normal so i let it rest for now....

hey! this is my diary u noe, i write wat i want..but sure, there will be comments rite?? i want to see that comments coming frm u guys...

a fool is always a fool

2006-08-30T20:59:00.000-07:00

i am soooo foolish for doing something like dat to him....although he's not angry at me, i feel something's up...maybe im over suspiscious?? maybe...i nvr did once told him how i feel towards him...always scolding him....i must be a bad person then...i can nvr tell him i love him...coz if i do tat, it will jeapordise our friendship...n we are frends now, i juz dont want to ruin that now. hey! atleast im thinking now ok?? "always become frends first...." "u cant rush things like dis" of coz that i noe i hv to become his frend first. bt y do i feel so uneasy...coz i didnt tell him wat i should be telling him?? is tat it? i heard tat he's somewat testing my heart? is tat rite? my heart is pure..i got nothing to be scared of, coz i like him...n im glad i can become his frend...do u think tat afta reading all my blogs, u think im childish, immature mind?? i juz say wat i want, w/o tinking the consequences...but if i like the guy, shouldnt i tell him no matter the outcome?? how can i go about telling him tat?? those who are reading this, pls tell me.....

but a fool is always a fool....

hmm.......last nite.....

2006-08-30T20:39:00.000-07:00

last nite, that guy msg me coz i told him i got something to talk to him....but actually there is nothing. i juz want to hear his voice. we cant call each other coz its late. he msg me first at 2 am. families are all asleep. dont want to disturb them. maybe he oso want to relax afta tat. i keep asking myself when he msg me, wat can i say to him?? wat shld i say to him?? last nite i finally say it to him. not the i-love-u. but i-am-sorry. duh! its the same; 3 letter words....hehehehehhe!

i told him i apologize for the harsh msg i sent to him b4. im sorry for the way i acted before. its true that at times i veri hot tempered n all...wif no cause n all...he must hv felt angry, i tot. n dont know if he will accept my apologies even though its late n all....but nevertheless i apologize to him. but his next msg were...that he's not angry at me...juz treat each other as frends la...as per normal....dont hope for anything...huh?? dont hope for anything?? does he mean like - dont hope tat i would like/love u in return and make u as my galfrend? its a bit true tat if we hope for something like tat, we wont be able to talk per normal...tat it would be awkward, u noe? i juz told him tat u noe i like u rite? he didnt say anything so i assume that he didnt feel anything for me...

hahahahahha!! im such a fool!! hey, watever happen to the "dont give up" obviously, its "dont give up on him" tat's wat i heard frm his senior. wat happen to tat phrase/sentence? so, last nite, afta all the msg, i went to bed, taking my bedsheets and cover my self..."its so embarassing" i say to myself.

dont know wat to do (pt 2)

2006-08-24T21:26:00.000-07:00

i really got no idea wat shld i do or say next.....by saying all those stuff, does it make me childish? wif an immature thinking?? my cute sis told me that im a bit mature yet immature....wat does tat mean?? does she mean that im a bit mature but my tinking and saying are all immature?? hmmm.......does it mean tat i cannot complain anymore?? is it wrong?? i think we, as a young adult may be acting childish and hv an immature thoughts at time.....to define an adult at ages such as after 19 is umm....some pple think its too early for us to be adults....not that we shld remain as a kid either.....even when i go out there, ppl will think that im a kid.....they dont know tat im already 22.....even if they knew that, they will be surprised....its how we think n act.....tats wat i think.....i dont want to stay like this forever....."time to grow up" huh?? have an open minded, i say.....do i noe how?? in simple english pls........

umm......yummy!!

2006-08-16T07:13:00.000-07:00

this afternoon i baked an america brownie. it used the baking choc. this evening too, i baked a white choc brownie.......it taste nice; both of them....but its too enuf for me & my family so i gave half of the america brownie to my dad so that he can share wif his colleagues @ work....the white choc......hmm....some of it, i gave to my bro so that he can bring it to work oso.....he works in the army now.....and the rest of the brownie?? got a lot lei.....maybe i will bring it to work tomorrow.....and maybe my pioneer jc sister oso bring the brownies to school.....i love baking brownies.....and cakes & cookies too....oh yeah!! how bout tat guy?? shld i gave to him too?? but wat if i didnt see him tomorrow?? dont know if he's working tomorrow....hopefully....even though he did to me bad things but i juz wanted to give him the brownie that i make......its my own effort not my sis nor my mom.....u think i shouldnt do that?? that will make him know that i like him?? hahahahaha!! he already knows that i like him bt i havent tell him myself....u think he's not worthy of eating my brownie? wat did u know?? although i hate him for doing such things to me b4, i still feel that i shouldnt be petty to him.....atleast i want him to know that i wasnt such a person now....."do good to pple and they will do good to you"...but u have to be patience......

my own phrase.....

2006-08-15T07:48:00.000-07:00

"nvr judge a book by its look" you nvr how the book is until u read the final chapter"

"dont play wif ppl's feelings" someday they will play yours"

"nvr bring ur personal problems to work coz u nvr now how u will react afta that"

"why muz u care to those pple who doesnt care about you"

"dont let them pull you down" you must learn how to stand up for urself"

" parents may tell you this and that but in the end you have to make ur own decision"

" we may have many frends but in the end only end up having few frends coz none of them can last long"

"true frends are those who stayed by ur side no matter wat" frends who will look for u no matter the circumstances"

"dont think back of ur past" if u muz, learnt from it and nvr repeat the same mistake"

"overcoming an obstacles is a step away to be stronger"

"practice wat u preach"

"action speak louder than words: that's why i like to act instead of talking.

"dont think of wat's to come, or who is that cutie, or who are u going to be wen u grow up: juz dont think"

"let it be: let nature takes it course"

"so be it: so be it when there's a 1000 rumors about you or so be it when its already being said by you"

"we are not a dunce or dufus or stupid: we juz didnt think hard enough" let our brain think of useful things once in a while"

"its nice to be young but i think it even nice to be old and matured"

nice phrase which i took from the book Starting Over

2006-08-15T07:33:00.000-07:00

" there's no way to go forward, if you'are looking at what's behind. if you do, you'll end up in a ditch for sure!"

" out of weakness were made strong." built into every painful experience you've ever had, is the wisdom you need to start over and do better the next time.

"failure is far more common than success." only when you can look failure in the eye, experience it and move beyond it, will you succeed.

"if u want to succeed, the secret is not to let any single incident color ur view of yourself."

until you quit making excuses and accept personal responsibility for ur life - nothing will change. no matter how often u fall down, you're not a failure until u blame somebody else for pushing u."

"being honest enough to say you're wrong, wise enough to learn from it and courageous enough to push ur way through the pain to the next level."

" keep vigilant watch over ur heart; that's where life starts.......keep ur eyes straight ahead; ignore all sideshow distractions. watch ur step, and the road will stretch our smooth b4 u."

" you don't have many problems than other ppl, you juz think about them more often! change how u think and you'll change how u feel!"

???

2006-08-14T20:06:00.000-07:00

yesterday was a breeze for me....my manager isnt working and i saw that guy.....afta taking my dinner, i went out with a frend and i saw his colleague n him.....his colleague told me that he wanted to talk to me.....probably bout that.....or maybe bout something else.....i nvr give myself a chance for that....his colleague shouted to me that he wanted to talk to me but i juz went wif my colleague....was that rude?? was that showing disrespect to both of them?? i saw him 3 or 4 times...i nvr knew how much he meant to me until yesterday.....maybe i wasnt ready for his explanation afta all huh?? i saw him walking past my workplace n i tink he saw me n i saw him as well...maybe i shld go out n call him....it wasnt so bz at the restaurant....i can get out of there at that time but i didnt!! there u go....i missed my chance of asking him wat he want to talk to me bout.....wat did he want to talk to me about.........................i wonder..........he finally wanted to talk to me n i blew it! y cant i give myself a chance n y cant i give him a chance?? this may be our last time talking to each other like this?? he wasnt afraid of me.......i was afraid of him.....wat was i thinking?? i msg him last nite bout wat do u want to talk to me about this afternoon.....he nvr reply back to me.....maybe he change his hp no or maybe he send his hp for repair......maybe that's wat he was trying to tell me....WHY!! WHY!! WHY!! WHY!! i like him so much n i angered him alot!! im no human!! no human would done this to the person u love sooo much!! i feel that i owe him a 1000 apologies.....but even a 1000 apologies wont be accepted coz i hurt him deeply....i have 2 off days....today n tmr....i wanted to see him.....and then wat?? i wanted to cry!! wat shld i do now??!!

hellooooooooo

2006-08-05T20:15:00.000-07:00

hello amigos n amigas!! how u doing??